Preface:
For over two years Jarom and I have been trying to have second child. After two miscarriages it has even become impossible for use to get pregnant. Each month tears flowed when I found out yet again I wasn't pregnant. I soon found my self going to an OBGYN here in St. George who is known for "getting women pregnant" though IUI's. After two unsuccessful attempts of IUI's we decided it was time for a specialist.
We began meeting with a Dr. in Phoenix, AZ. Jarom had a good friend that had gone to him. They had difficulty in getting pregnant and they highly recommended him. After various blood tests and a change in diet and exercise we were told that we should be getting pregnant. Well we weren't! Quite frankly I was very disappointed in the Dr. His staff was very difficult to work with and talking to them on the phone was like trying to pull teeth. We soon decided that he was not helping us.
A friend in my ward suggested that I go to the new fertility clinic that is here in St. George. It's with the University of Utah and Dr. Matthew Peterson is the head of it. This is what we needed. Someone here in St. George. Dr. Peterson is wonderful and his staff is fabulous too. The comparison of the two doctors is like night and day.
Dr. Peterson gave us a lot of hope and suggested we try to be more aggressive. We agreed with this plan. We again underwent 3 IUI's with Dr. Peterson with more powerful drugs. Again nothing. Dr. Peterson then started down the route of IVF. At first we were somewhat hesitant but then decided that it was the last option and if it didn't work then adoption was to be the avenue in which were to have more children in our family. All I know is that our family isn't complete and Allie needs a couple of sibling. How we get them in our family I'm not quite sure but they are out there and we are having to go through a lot of work to get them here. It's an emotional rollercoaster ride. And this is our story.
June 24, 2013
For over two years Jarom and I have been trying to have second child. After two miscarriages it has even become impossible for use to get pregnant. Each month tears flowed when I found out yet again I wasn't pregnant. I soon found my self going to an OBGYN here in St. George who is known for "getting women pregnant" though IUI's. After two unsuccessful attempts of IUI's we decided it was time for a specialist.
We began meeting with a Dr. in Phoenix, AZ. Jarom had a good friend that had gone to him. They had difficulty in getting pregnant and they highly recommended him. After various blood tests and a change in diet and exercise we were told that we should be getting pregnant. Well we weren't! Quite frankly I was very disappointed in the Dr. His staff was very difficult to work with and talking to them on the phone was like trying to pull teeth. We soon decided that he was not helping us.
A friend in my ward suggested that I go to the new fertility clinic that is here in St. George. It's with the University of Utah and Dr. Matthew Peterson is the head of it. This is what we needed. Someone here in St. George. Dr. Peterson is wonderful and his staff is fabulous too. The comparison of the two doctors is like night and day.
Dr. Peterson gave us a lot of hope and suggested we try to be more aggressive. We agreed with this plan. We again underwent 3 IUI's with Dr. Peterson with more powerful drugs. Again nothing. Dr. Peterson then started down the route of IVF. At first we were somewhat hesitant but then decided that it was the last option and if it didn't work then adoption was to be the avenue in which were to have more children in our family. All I know is that our family isn't complete and Allie needs a couple of sibling. How we get them in our family I'm not quite sure but they are out there and we are having to go through a lot of work to get them here. It's an emotional rollercoaster ride. And this is our story.
June 24, 2013
Today was my eight day ultra sound and estrogen blood draw for my IVF cycle. I was really nervous to go to it because I was afraid that I was going to get bad news. I was scared that I was going to go and they were going to tell me that I only had two follicles growing and that the medicine had not been working right.
Well, I was wrong I had about 10 follicles that they could see on ultra sound. All of them were 11 or greater. I was so happy to hear this news. I was also glad because the last couple of days I have been feeling quite a bit of pain in my ovaries. I was hoping that I wasn't crazy and that it was all in my head. It wasn't! My left ovary had 5 follicles developing in it. No wonder it hurts so bad. The thing that is really hard is I can only take Tylenol for the pain. Not very effective. Oh well, if I get a baby or babies out of it all of this all the pain will be worth it. The thing that we women do to have babies huh?
This afternoon I got a phone call from Dr. Peterson's office. They had even more good news. My blood draw looked really good as well. I had an estrogen level of 888. They say that each follicle is about 200 so right now it looks like I have at least 4 follicles that are mature. They are hoping to have about 10 at the time of retrieval. I'm hoping that too.
So, I guess our prayers thus far have been answered. We have been praying constantly that my body would react to the medicine. It has! That is such a blessing. I just keep praying that all of this will work. I want a baby so bad. Really I want babies so bad. If I could pick I'd pick a girl and a boy. wouldn't that be fantastic? I'll take whatever I can get though.
Today my Relief Society president in my ward stopped by. She wanted to see how she and the ward could help out during all of this. It was so thoughtful of her and brought tears to my eyes. She also informed me that her and the RS presidency in our ward as well as in our stake have been praying for me. It brought tears to my eyes to find out that all these people were praying for me. Here I thought I'd been going through this somewhat alone and then I find out about these amazing women that are praying for me and so desperately ache with me in wanting children.
Tonight I gave my self another 4 shots. OUCH. They really hurt. I can't believe that giving these shots comes so naturally now. Even my little Allie makes me laugh when giving the shots. She loves to sit and watch as I draw up each syringe and then she makes sure that I'm doing them correct. She knows as much about this stuff as I do. That's kind of sad isn't it?
Well, I guess that is all for today. I feel very blessed with all the wonderful news that we received. It's truly a blessing. Now if can just make it through the next few days with out feeling like my ovaries are going to explode. This whole thing is really a lot more painful that I anticipated. Wish me luck!
June 26, 2013
Today I went to the doctor today to have another ultra sound and scan of my ovaries to see how things are developing. Things looked really good today. I had at least 11 follicles that looked like they were mature. It made my day! I was so worried that I was going to go to the Dr. today and that things wouldn't look any different than they were on Monday. But they are progressing just like they had hoped.
I waited and waited this afternoon for my blood work to come back. Finally I got a phone call from the office that said that my estrogen was something like 2172. It was really good. It means that I have lots of follicles that are mature. I was given the okay to give the trigger shot tonight at 10:15pm and the egg retrieval will be Friday morning at 10:15am. I'm pretty excited that we have enough eggs to finish what we have started.
Tonight was the night for the HCG trigger shot. It had to be what is called intramuscular so it had to be done in my "love handles". The nurse on the phone said that Jarom was going to have to give me the shot. Yeah right!! They don't know my husband do they? We ended up calling his Aunt Brenda,who is a nurse, to help out with the shot. All these shots are just no fun! I can't believe how normal all of this has become.
I'm still having such a hard time letting myself get excited about any of this. What if it doesn't work? How am I going to cope and handle this? I just keep telling myself that this can work and will work. I just have to keep the faith. I was once told that worry ends where faith begins. That's what I'm doing. I just want all of this to work!
June 26, 2013
Today I went to the doctor today to have another ultra sound and scan of my ovaries to see how things are developing. Things looked really good today. I had at least 11 follicles that looked like they were mature. It made my day! I was so worried that I was going to go to the Dr. today and that things wouldn't look any different than they were on Monday. But they are progressing just like they had hoped.
I waited and waited this afternoon for my blood work to come back. Finally I got a phone call from the office that said that my estrogen was something like 2172. It was really good. It means that I have lots of follicles that are mature. I was given the okay to give the trigger shot tonight at 10:15pm and the egg retrieval will be Friday morning at 10:15am. I'm pretty excited that we have enough eggs to finish what we have started.
Tonight was the night for the HCG trigger shot. It had to be what is called intramuscular so it had to be done in my "love handles". The nurse on the phone said that Jarom was going to have to give me the shot. Yeah right!! They don't know my husband do they? We ended up calling his Aunt Brenda,who is a nurse, to help out with the shot. All these shots are just no fun! I can't believe how normal all of this has become.
I'm still having such a hard time letting myself get excited about any of this. What if it doesn't work? How am I going to cope and handle this? I just keep telling myself that this can work and will work. I just have to keep the faith. I was once told that worry ends where faith begins. That's what I'm doing. I just want all of this to work!
June 28, 2013
Well today was the day for the egg retrieval. Things went really well. We drove up from St George last night and stayed in a hotel. My sister Natalie, met us this morning and took Allie from us and we were supposed to be at the doctor's office at 10:15am. We got there with about 5 minutes to spare. We were quickly taken back into the room and the preparations for the egg retrieval began.
I wasn't quite sure how the whole thing worked but I was given an IV in my hand and then taken into the room where the actual retrieval happens. Shortly after they gave me medication for a conscious sedation. I don't really remember much. I remember them poking and jabbing at me a little but the next thing I remember was Dr. Peterson coming into the room and telling me that I did really good and that they retrieved 12 eggs. That was great news!
Jarom was brought back into the room. They brought me some crackers and juice and gave me time to wake up. As soon as I felt good enough I got dressed and they wheeled me out to the car in a wheel chair.
We now had to wait. Wait until Sunday to get a phone call from the embryologist to see if the eggs fertilized and if they were growing. It's all about waiting with IVF. Once you get past one stage you start again on another. The worry and concern never goes away.
The recovery from the retrieval was better then expected. I was pretty sore on Friday. I thought on Saturday morning I would wake up and be even worse. But nope...I felt much better. I felt good enough that Jarom, Allie, and I went for a short walk in the morning. It felt so good to be up and moving. All the medications that I had been taking over the past two weeks had been very difficult on my body. I had gained about 7lbs of water weight. I peed and peed for a couple days straight. The good news. I lost those 7lbs. Hopefully just to gain it back again because I'm pregnant. I'm praying this is the end result!!!
June 30, 2013
Well, we got a call from the embrologist. Nine of our 12 eggs fertilized. It looks like it's going to be a 5 day transfer. That is exactly what we asked for. So, we go in on July 3, 2013. Things just keep going so well. I'm so afraid to get my hopes up. This still might not work. I just keep praying, praying, and praying.
July 15, 2013
I haven't written for a while. It's been a long two weeks for me. The egg transfer went perfect. I was on bedrest for about 3 days but took it easy the whole two week wait. Can I tell you what tourture it is? Every little symptoms you read as "am I pregnant or not?" LONGEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE!
I wish I was writing to post with great news but I'm not. My feelings are very raw. We found out today that we are again not pregnant. We are heartbroken but overall feel such peace. We have had so many people praying for us that it's amazing. Those prayers have been felt. I've know for the last five days or so that I was pregnant. I just felt it. I kept wishing and hoping that things would be different but when my blood results came back what I already knew was confirmed.
I got the news at home. I called Jarom at work and just cried to him. After hanging up the phone the first thing I did was grab my little Allie and squeezed her as tight as I could. And then I cried. I cried tear of sadness and tears of gratitude for the miracle that Allie is in our life. Do paren't that have never struggledwith infertility realize what a miracle life really is? (I know i didn't. Allie came so easy for us.) My cute daughter just hugged me back and told me that we were going to have a baby "we will just adopt one Mom". She said it so matter of factly. How does a 4 year old know so much? This little girl is far more wise than her age. More than anything I just needed my good husband to hug and comfort me. He needed me too. Jarom's not very good at expressing his emotion but this hurts just as much for him. Since Jarom works in Cedar City its just not that simple to go and see him since its a little bit of a drive. I decided that I couldn't just sit at home today so I called Jarom and told him that Allie and I were coming to Cedar and we were going to lunch and then to make an appointment with the police department to get our finger prints done. We are finishing this adoption process that we started 1 year ago.
So, my friends...you read it right. We are starting the journey to adoption. The inital papework has already been submitted and we are on our way. I pray that it is a quick process for us. Like every other couple and family that is on the adoption list too. I just keep telling my self that God is a God of compensation. He will compensate with an even greater blessing than we can imagine. We just have to hold on. So, keep checking back on our journey through adoption.
I wasn't quite sure how the whole thing worked but I was given an IV in my hand and then taken into the room where the actual retrieval happens. Shortly after they gave me medication for a conscious sedation. I don't really remember much. I remember them poking and jabbing at me a little but the next thing I remember was Dr. Peterson coming into the room and telling me that I did really good and that they retrieved 12 eggs. That was great news!
Jarom was brought back into the room. They brought me some crackers and juice and gave me time to wake up. As soon as I felt good enough I got dressed and they wheeled me out to the car in a wheel chair.
We now had to wait. Wait until Sunday to get a phone call from the embryologist to see if the eggs fertilized and if they were growing. It's all about waiting with IVF. Once you get past one stage you start again on another. The worry and concern never goes away.
The recovery from the retrieval was better then expected. I was pretty sore on Friday. I thought on Saturday morning I would wake up and be even worse. But nope...I felt much better. I felt good enough that Jarom, Allie, and I went for a short walk in the morning. It felt so good to be up and moving. All the medications that I had been taking over the past two weeks had been very difficult on my body. I had gained about 7lbs of water weight. I peed and peed for a couple days straight. The good news. I lost those 7lbs. Hopefully just to gain it back again because I'm pregnant. I'm praying this is the end result!!!
June 30, 2013
Well, we got a call from the embrologist. Nine of our 12 eggs fertilized. It looks like it's going to be a 5 day transfer. That is exactly what we asked for. So, we go in on July 3, 2013. Things just keep going so well. I'm so afraid to get my hopes up. This still might not work. I just keep praying, praying, and praying.
July 15, 2013
I haven't written for a while. It's been a long two weeks for me. The egg transfer went perfect. I was on bedrest for about 3 days but took it easy the whole two week wait. Can I tell you what tourture it is? Every little symptoms you read as "am I pregnant or not?" LONGEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE!
I wish I was writing to post with great news but I'm not. My feelings are very raw. We found out today that we are again not pregnant. We are heartbroken but overall feel such peace. We have had so many people praying for us that it's amazing. Those prayers have been felt. I've know for the last five days or so that I was pregnant. I just felt it. I kept wishing and hoping that things would be different but when my blood results came back what I already knew was confirmed.
I got the news at home. I called Jarom at work and just cried to him. After hanging up the phone the first thing I did was grab my little Allie and squeezed her as tight as I could. And then I cried. I cried tear of sadness and tears of gratitude for the miracle that Allie is in our life. Do paren't that have never struggledwith infertility realize what a miracle life really is? (I know i didn't. Allie came so easy for us.) My cute daughter just hugged me back and told me that we were going to have a baby "we will just adopt one Mom". She said it so matter of factly. How does a 4 year old know so much? This little girl is far more wise than her age. More than anything I just needed my good husband to hug and comfort me. He needed me too. Jarom's not very good at expressing his emotion but this hurts just as much for him. Since Jarom works in Cedar City its just not that simple to go and see him since its a little bit of a drive. I decided that I couldn't just sit at home today so I called Jarom and told him that Allie and I were coming to Cedar and we were going to lunch and then to make an appointment with the police department to get our finger prints done. We are finishing this adoption process that we started 1 year ago.
So, my friends...you read it right. We are starting the journey to adoption. The inital papework has already been submitted and we are on our way. I pray that it is a quick process for us. Like every other couple and family that is on the adoption list too. I just keep telling my self that God is a God of compensation. He will compensate with an even greater blessing than we can imagine. We just have to hold on. So, keep checking back on our journey through adoption.
1 comments:
Hang in there....
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